| | So, I just feel like writing. Not a website review, not a meme, not a themed entry. Just me this time. When I first started blogging I was just totally honest about what I blogged. Then I got more readers, and like most bloggers I know, I had to start censoring what I say based on who might be reading.
Fuck that. And consider yourself warned, I'm having a really crabtastic day.
I miss school. Immensely. I miss sitting in a class taking notes and watching people around me text message while the prof lectures. I miss Student Senate and meetings and missed opportunities to go to D.C. I miss waiting in line at the bookstore. I miss sitting in the library and eating in the cafeteria. I miss getting a free pass to make my own hours at work because I'm a student. I miss the challenge. I miss it in my gut, you know that feeling? I looked out the back window of my car today and saw my MATC window decal. I thought I should rip it down since I'm not a student there anymore, technically. I'm between schools right now. It's sad, really. I should have gone back this semester.
My teeth are all jacked up. But not on Mountain Dew. Mostly Diet Coke and not brushing before bed consistently. Oh and bad genes. Thanks for the Aggressive Periodontal Disease, mom and dad. I am headed to the dentist this afternoon for my third of four $198 deep cleanings. My insurance ran out a while back. $1000 per year, are they crazy? No they are smart, because they make more money that way, not having to pay for my dental hygiene problems. I had a root canal and a crown already, and next on the calendar are four wisdom teeth removals. At least the dentist is supremely good looking. I enjoy going for that reason alone.
Also -- and I won't get into too much detail lest you squirm in your chair -- I am having a *ahem* 'procedure' done to rule out cancer in a few days. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm optistic because it will do me no good to worry about it until I know exactly what we're dealing with here. Again, wishing I would have taken the real insurance instead of the Health Savings Account paired with a high deductible ($3000) cuz I'm not even close to meeting that goal. IF something is wrong with me I will switch it during open enrollment this January. Cross your fingers, pray, knock on wood, whatever. I have a feeling I'll be a whiny little cancer patient and nobody wants to see that so let's think in the opposite direction, mkay.
My dad. Urghhshhshlll. <<< That's a noise, trust me, it's like a combo of a sigh and a frustrated groan. I still haven't found him a place to live. Well, he has a place to live but I think we can find a better place, and I just haven't been on the hunt like I should. I won't even tell you how many places I've looked at but trust me it's not enough. And I'm racked up with guilt over it. It's a big responsibility. And I've seen the top notch places - I've worked in them - so everything else looks like Auschwitz to me. Yeah I said it I'm sorry. If only I had money to send him to a private pay facility. Who said money can't buy happiness. I would gladly throw money at this problem.
Work. Dude - I dream about work. And I go on these binges of working maniacally one day and doing the work of like an entire week and then the next day I can't concentrate or get motivated for shit. And I like my job so I worry about losing it the whole time. And there's a lot of responsibility too. I mean, when did I grow up and get a real job? I was clerking at a liquor store for five years, and now I have this and I complain that it's challenging? Yeah, right about the same time that I didn't go back to dropped out of school. Cuz let's call it what it is. I dropped out.
Wow. Suckfest 2008.
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| | Posted 9/4/2008 10:09 AM - 140 Views - 16 eProps - 9 comments
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